free think

Seven years.. seven years of life, thoughts, travel, and experiences...

Glad to be back..reinvigorated.. inspired.. its been brewing a repetitive thought ticking at me just like chinese water torture to the forehead.

It was almost a fear.. will i know what to say? will i struggle as i did before i took the break?

I am living my "Eat, Pray, Love" journey

Had a mental break down..

I changed... i died metaphorically.. literally..deconstructed.. deprogramming..rewiring...

Many don't know what that feels like nor could i explain it to anyone.. it is something that if you have not experienced it, can only empathize.

fuck you i wont do what you tell me.. a little rage against the machine at the moment on spotify

that's kind of how I feel at the moment.. but more in a way of breaking societal constructs of what I have to be in accordance to "fit in" i've never fit in.. never.. and what does that even mean?  fit into what? the 'american dream?' debauchery and excess.. always chasing the void..

i wish i could sing.. secretly all i've ever want to do is get on stage with my band mates.. the closest people to me in life and just let it all out.. surprising coming from an introverted individual huh.. Ive always had that daydream.. when I am stressed and listening to music that's the recurrent image in my head.

maybe I will make it happen one day.. I am more willing now probably. who knows..

So this is how my brain jumps..

I need some more work done.. body art

what is up with this Youtube generation.. its amazing and kind of crappy at the same time. i know it actually takes more work than people think. kudos to the successful ones

a sense of sophistication.. that was said to me last night

a light, so much light in you but also a fire..

its all in the eyes.. its crazy what the windows to my soul tell people and i don' t even realize it.. but i have heard that over the years.. and that it messes with people its like i speak to them and don't have to say a word.

i had a conversation where i expressed I don't know why people feel comfortable telling me/showing me/ and having me experience the raw nature to their being...what i like to call the underbelly of society.. a blessing and a curse I guess.